My New Bike

Contrary to even my own expectations, rather than buying a motorbike, I've settled on buying a brand new mountain bike (xe dap nui). Mind you, it's a pretty cool bike. As I was riding out to visit by boys at the safety house, deftly weaving through the slow traffic of cyclo drivers and fruit on wheels, and trying not to get run over by the swarm of motorbikes, oddly placed Land Rovers, Mercedes Benzes, and gigantic tour buses, some guy driving next to me nodded his head in approval and asked me how much I paid for it. I really wanted to ask him for some grey poupon. But anyway, I forgot to mention that I happen to be a millionaire here. The bike cost me 1,245,000 VND (Vietnamese dong), which corresponds to about $85. Pretty cheap for a quality bike like this one. Of course, bicycles aren't the rage around here. They're old school. Everyone wants a motorbike, which symbolizes modernization and greater wealth. But whatevs, cuz my bike is pretty damn cool. I seriously have a blast riding through the streets, well, minus the soreness of my tush. Don't get me wrong, there were a couple close calls. Actually, some guy friggin bumped me with his motobike from behind. Boy was I pissed. Who knew you could get road rage on a bike? But really, there are only two rules you need to follow on the road. One, let the bigger vehicles have their way (I wouldn't recommend going head to head with a bus on a wimpy bike). And two, always yield to the people in front of you. That's why Vietnamese traffic flows like water rather than the jerky stop-n-go of industrialized cities. What this means is that all you really need to pay attention to is the traffic ahead, never behind. It's kinda like snowboarding but not. Anyway, so that guy who bumped me violated rule number two, and for that, I gasped in horror and disgust and shook my head with major disapproval. Yeah, I was not a happy camper... for a good 15 seconds! What can I say, I'm not one to hold grudges around here. Life is way too short. -sw